Obstacles to a safe, happy relationship with sociopaths/psychopaths/narcissists (wolves in sheep’s clothing):

Sociopaths/psychopaths are hollow soulless predators that can be a lot  more than a sour taste in your mouth. They can be extremely charming, smooth talkers, witty and very friendly, and often a touch narcissistic. Very soon your partner will reveal a two-faced personality. One moment he/she may be extremely charming and attentive and the very next, they will blurt out a hateful, negative comment. People with this kind of personality disorder veer from one emotional to the other without any reasonable cause for it. They are arrogant people who believe they are superior human beings. They also lack feelings or concern for the losses, pain, and suffering of victims; a tendency to be unconcerned, dispassionate, coldhearted, and unempathic.  Their grandiose sense of self makes them feel entitled to certain things like your time, attention or money and eventually they will come to see these things as "their right." If you are in a relationship with a sociopath you risk losing your money, your possessions, your job, your self-esteem, and your confidence. Their crimes are brushed under the carpet while yours are always brought up and never forgiven, even crimes you didn’t commit or even think about committing. Whatever the narcissist accuses the victim of doing is more than likely what they are doing.

A psychopath lacks much more than empathy for others in his/her emotional repertoire. He/she also lacks the capacity to experience any kind of emotion that requires deeper insight and psychological awareness. He/she experiences only proto-emotions, which are as short-lived as they’re intense. 

A psychopath may understand other people frighteningly well. They can watch dispassionately, with a cold and calculating mind, going convincingly through the motions of empathy on the surface while focusing on how to turn the situation to their advantage. The only way to spot them is to observe them carefully over a significant period of time. Do they regularly say one thing and then do another, more than other people? Do they sometimes seem strangely un-shocked by shocking events?

For psychopath/narcissist people, their only compass is what feels good right now—“What would I like to do right now?” Psychopathic individuals spend very little time questioning their motivations. They do not examine their own thoughts or feelings in the way that most of us do. The lack of a conscience can help explain a general lack of stability in their behavior.

Not surprisingly, many two-faced bullies show strong psychopathic tendencies. Trying to appeal to the better nature of a person who hasn't got a better nature is a losing strategy. Psychopaths do not feel guilt or shame. They won't feel genuinely sorry for you and will only put up a front of convincing looking sympathy for as long as it suits them. Romantic relationships with a psychopath (of either sex) are fraught with dangers to your emotional and even physical well-being.

Generally, psychopathic individuals are out to service their own short term agendas.  The goal may be to achieve something material in nature or may be to achieve control over a person, such as a child, who is important to the victim.   The psychopath may simply feel entitled to “ownership rights.” Concern for others in their lives is often non-existent.  This lack of concern for others extends even to the immediate family including, children, spouses, parents, and siblings.  It is likely that the psychopath has spent so much time manipulating the victim’s reality that the victim cannot always distinguish fact from fiction.  However, there tends to be an underlying sense that much is wrong.  

People don’t become sociopaths overnight. They have a history of aberrant behavior or dysfunctional relationships. Aside from problems such as minimal empathy, lack of deep and lasting feelings/emotions, antagonism, manipulation, interpersonal coldness in spite of signs of open gregariousness, and anger/envy, 6 additional factors hinder a safe relationship with a psychopath:

1.   Minimal capacity to bond/commit:
      Psychopaths have only fleeting feelings, so at some moments a psychopath may feel so excited by a partner that he may feel he/she found “Mrs/Mr Right.” But, at the same time, psychopaths are always strategic and manipulative and their feelings are always very shallow. So the “Mrs/Mr Right” of one day, or one month, or one year isn’t going to be the same one as the next day, month or year. The concept of “Mrs/Mr Right” or “true love” or "my soul" has no real meaning for a psychopath because he can’t really love. At the beginning of their intimate relationships, they are typically excited and stimulated by their new partner. This state can easily be mistaken as bonding and deep caring for their mate. However, this tends to be the dopamine-driven stage of romantic love that can feel like addictive attraction. Once that fades, so does their interest. It is often at this point that they display disdain for their partner. Accepting that the romantic phase of a pathological relationship was never about love or even passion, but about conquest, dupery and a new thrill for the psychopath is very important. A psychopath shows his true self (the cold, manipulative, cunning side) to those he needs less. If a psychopath feels he needs his/her partner and children for his image, he will put more effort in creating the mask of a good partner. When he wants to leave his partner, he/she’ll show his/her true ugly self. Either way, a psychopath is “good” only as a fake act with those he feels he needs at the moment.

 2.    Dysfunctional relationship cycle:
      They often demonstrate a predictable cyclical style of intimate relationships that are common for those with cluster B personality disorders. They idealize, devalue, and then discard their partners, with no concern for the pain they leave behind. Given that they never had a bond with their mate in the first place, walking away from the relationship causes them little to no discomfort. Many are happy to move along to the next target. 
 3.   Inability to offer a genuine apology:
      Psychopathy is a disorder that hampers the ability to feel guilt and remorse. Due to faulty brain functions, there is a tendency to engage in immoral behavior. When they hurt someone or cause damage, they usually will not offer an apology. If what appears to be an apology is offered, it is rarely beyond words and tends to include an element of distancing and minimizing (“I made a mistake”). The feelings of guilt and remorse are missing because these emotional states are not within their capacity. Therefore, the typical contrition that would naturally follow when one has caused harm to another will be absent. Their stance is typically, "Move on," "Let it go," "You're too sensitive," or, "Why are you still talking about that—it's in the past!"

Psychopaths can’t believe that their bad actions, which they always consider justifiable and appropriate, could ever cause another human being who was previously under their spell to disapprove of their behavior and reject them. Even if they cheat, lie, use, manipulate or isolate others, they don’t feel like they deserve any repercussions as a result of that behavior. To put it bluntly, a psychopath will kick you in the teeth and expect you to say “Thank you.” Being shameless and self-absorbed, he/she assumes that all those close to him/her will buy his/her false image of goodness and excuse his/her despicable actions just as he does.

 4.   Presence of high narcissism:
      For those with primary psychopathy, it is in their nature to have an incredibly inflated, grandiose sense of self. They do not need or care about the approval of others.  Unfortunately, for the individual with psychopathy, there tends to be no genuine interest in friendships or long term relationships.
 5.   Everyone is assigned a role and has a use: "You're my object."
      They have a strong need for power and control and often place others in the role of "loser," even those who demonstrate loyalty, trust and love toward them. For many with psychopathy, this role is also assigned to their intimate partner.
 6.   Immorality: 
      Sychopathy is a disorder that has immorality as a core feature. When there is immorality, harm to others tends to follow. It would not be uncommon for someone with this condition to have secret/dual lives, pervasive hateful thoughts, or a consistent pattern of violating behaviors. Examples include Internet trolling, using children as pawns, abusing/bullying others, or forcing a partner to have sex. A psychopath’s core emotion is contempt for the individuals he/she fools, uses and abuses and for humanity in general. 

As previously mentioned, psychopathic individuals often have no concern for anyone or anything not servicing their agendas or promoting their short-term personal gain.  With little ability to plan for the future or accurately assess the potential consequences of their actions, they often leave trails of destruction that encompass more than their victims’ health.

When you leave a psychopath, he/she becomes determined to punish you even more severely for thinking you could be autonomous. He/she envies everything pretty, shiny and sparkly that you have and he/she wants whatever you value. Psychopaths view life and human relationships as a strategy game. For as long as you do as well, you are just one more game piece for a severely disordered individual.

“I knew in my heart something was wrong with him/her”. This is what nearly every victim of a psychopath has felt, usually early on in the relationship. The lies and inconsistencies. The callousness towards others. The disregard for social norms. The sense of superiority (absolute narcissism), without having much to show for it or justify it. The aimlessness and lack of responsibility. The random oscillations in mood and behavior, to exert power over others. The demands for isolation from loved ones and friends. The control and possessiveness. There are always very disturbing signs in the psychopathic bond, signs that many people tend to ignore or rationalize until the toxic relationship, like a disease, takes over to destroy their lives. 

ALWAYS remember this: you’d have an easier time training genuine loyalty and emotion out of a dog rather than wasting another second of yourself over a psychopath. Psychopaths and malignant narcissists respect no one but themselves and love no one but themselves.

When the breakup becomes a reality, it is likely that his/her 'false persona' will completely disappear all together and you will most likely experience the most hurtful of behavior from him/her. He/she is completely lacking in empathy, and - since he/she is not receiving any admiration from you anymore – he/she will dismiss you and discard you as worthless to him, consequently dropping any fake front that he used to put up in order to keep you in the relationship. It has nothing to do with you. He/she simply is unable to care for anyone other than himself, no matter whom they are. And deep inside you know that you have just wasted years of your life on someone who is an empty fraud. It's like you imagined everything; nothing was real. He/she was a masterful actor when he was getting his ego fed; but now that he/she is not getting his narcissistic supply from you anymore he/she simply - and completely - has totally erased you from his/her life. 

Did you ever hear the saying, “Pain in life is inevitable, but misery is optional?” Applied to dating/marrying, avoiding misery typically means staying away from such toxic people.